Questions I am sick of answering

Q: What's the weather going to be like today?
A: Well, since I have the only interior room in the apartment, let me look out my window. I'd have to say it's going to be stuffy, partly sunny, with a large piece of plastic obstructing all natural light. Watch out for falling control top underwear.

Q: Do you work here?
A: I am standing in the bathroom with a pair of rubber gloves scrubbing the toilet. So no. I don't work here. I do this for fun.

Q: How does the toilet flush?
A: Well, that depends which bathroom you're talking about. If you're closest to the kitchen, pull the neon green string sticking out of the toilet. If you're in the middle bathroom, reach in behind the toilet and pull the yellow chord. If you're in the one closest to the office, push the button. If that doesn't work, wiggle the hose attached to the toilet. Something should happen.

Q: How long will this person be in the bathroom for?
A: That depends on what they're doing. And what kind of perv asks that sort of question??

Q: When you close the common room, do you close the internet?
A: What? Whaaaat?

Q: What's the best time to go to the beach?
A: When it's sunny. And that is a stupid question.

Q: Where is the 3rd floor?
A: Not on the 2nd floor, so stop ringing their doorbell.

Q: What is the code to get in the front door?
A: I told you when I brought you here. It's 1-2-3, and if you can't remember that, you can't stay here.

Glamour Shots For Stronger Friendships

Jessie and I recently came to the realization that our guests don't know us well enough. Sure, they know the basics. We are Canadian, sisters, students, travellers, beach lovers, dancing machines. What about our likes and dislikes? Exceptional skills? Our inspirations? Aspirations? We needed to address this issue before things got out of hand and the barriers between employee and guest grew too strong to break down. But how can one solve such a monstrous problem? The same way you solve any problem. Glamour shots. Glamour shots and bios. Now with our informative, uncensored glamour shot-bio posters, Urban House guests lucky enough to stay at Gipuzcoa 3 can get to know the genious behind our floor from the moment they walk in the door.

JESSIE REW

Occupation: Hannah Montaña

Skills: Dancing really fast to the most undanceable songs in history.
Hobbies: Teaching and perfecting suggestive dance moves.
Likes: Long jazz walks on the beach.
Dislikes: Everything.
Idea of a Perfect Date: April 23rd, because it's not too hot and it's not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
Hopes, Dreams & Aspirations: Harsher punishment for parole violation. And world peace.
Inspiring quote: "Two weeks before the pageant, I was practicing my talent, finishing my costume, brushing up on current events and running 18 miles a day on about 400 calories. I. was. ready." - Alexandra Holden as Mary Johanson in Drop Dead Gorgoeus (1999)

CHLOE REW

Occupation: Hiphopapotamus
Skills: Getting criminal on the dance floor; making meatballs.
Hobbies: Collecting recipes from Martha Stewart Living and never using them.
Likes: Doing her hobby.
Dislikes: N/A
Idea of a Perfect Date: One that shows up.
Hopes, Dreams and Aspirations:
To have 6 official blog followers.
Inspiring quote: "You are your own rainbow." - Molly Shannon as Mary Katherine Gallagher in Superstar (1999)